Tips for Managing the Little Monster Inside of You
Are you struggling with imposter syndrome? First things first, know you are not alone! The best of us do. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Tina Fey, Maya Angelou, and Serena Williams have all admitted their personal struggles in this area. All influential, powerful women who are just like you and me. All are working on managing that little monster inside that plant's seeds of self-doubt.
Our self-doubt, uncertainty, or lack of confidence can show up in our interactions with others, place of work, and within our professional brand, affecting how we lead and show up.
Either we let imposter syndrome overtake our bodies and let the monster inside us box us into a hole. Or we take control and manage the volume of the little monster's voice, which ultimately affects our decision-making skills and how we show up in the world.
How can you manage imposter syndrome? Here are three tips on how to manage the little monster inside.
Tip #1- Manage your self-talk
What do you say when you talk to yourself? Many years ago, I read a book with a similar title, “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter, an oldie but goodie that dives into the impact of negative self-talk and shifting to have a more positive outlook.
The conversations we have with ourselves, about ourselves, are some of the most impactful conversations that we will ever have. They will shape the trajectory of our lives and help in conceptualizing the future we will create for ourselves.
Are you talking yourself up, or talking yourself down?
Recognize your patterns of our self-talk so you can begin to regulate where your brain goes. Try to catch yourself in the act of self-sabotage or degradation.
When you notice it, acknowledge it, and tell it to move on, it has no place in your life’s story today.
Tip #2- Recognize who you are
You are a badass! Highly sought after, highly qualified, acknowledge your self-worth and what makes you unique and valuable to the world.
Take inventory of all the things you’ve accomplished or achieved. Recognize and honor those wins! Take those accomplishments and achievements with you wherever you go and realize they weren’t just handed to you, you worked for them, and others recognize that work.
Try writing down all the accomplishments that make you a valuable asset, so when the monster begins to reveal its ugly head, you can combat it with self-love and facts.
Tip #3- Fact v. Feeling
Get clear on what is a fact, and what is just a feeling.
Sometimes we feel certain things. You may feel like you didn’t do a good job, or feel unqualified, but when you objectively stand outside those feelings and look at your credentials and certifications, you are more than qualified, that's the fact!
All feelings have merit. It is okay to have feelings of self-doubt. It’s okay to have feelings of fear and uncertainty. Those are feelings we just need to work through and manage. Acknowledge the feelings and move forward with the facts. What are the facts of this situation, circumstance, or scenario right now?
I work with many high-achieving BIPOC-women and are paving the way, many being the first in their seats. When they look around in the boardroom, their colleagues may not look, talk, live, and work like them.
With an identity of difference, seeds of uncertainty and doubt leave clients feeling as though they need to prove to others that they belong. Frankly, many of us were taught that we must be twice or thrice as good to get half as far professionally.
Here’s the fact: If you’ve been invited to the table, you already belong. Because you are there, you already belong. Now, you just have to work through your feelings about your presence there. Release those lessons and feelings from the past so you can be fully present.
Another thing about Fact v. Feelings: Don’t confuse gas lighting with self doubt!
There are people who will always try to define you, and justify to themselves why you’re in the same room as them. This is a gaslighting behavior due to their own insecurities.
SHUT IT DOWN!
You know who you are. Be who you know who you are and don’t let others define your impact. That is for you to define.
Imposter syndrome is real and natural in many cases. However, do not allow it to hold you back from being the brilliant, magnificent, badass you already are!
Vantage Point Coaching (VPC) provides Executive Leadership & Life Coaching for professionals and entrepreneurs wanting to level up and achieve personal & professional goals. From corporate leadership group trainings and seminars to one-on-one coaching with accountability partnerships, VPC offers a range of services designed to help clients achieve goals and find greater fulfillment out of life. Visit www.vantagepointcoach.com and sign-up for a Discovery Call, 20-minute personalized consultation to hear how coaching can help you achieve your wildest dreams. Change your Vantage Point, Change your Life!